Monday, July 25, 2005

Busy Day - OR - Why I Now Have Three Tits

Things I did today:

-Finished most of my evil training grant at work. I'm hoping if I recycle a copy, it'll wind up as someone's toilet paper in its second life. Does paper have karma?

-Ate a pepperoni bagel for lunch, even though it's bad for me. C'mon! All aboard the Carbs & Spicy Meat Express! Woo-woo!

-Had supersuspiciousmole surgery. My recent biopsy of a left boob mole came back "suspicious", prompting a call from my dermatologists office asking to “scoop the rest of that little guy out". Bullshit. By the time they finished, that 'little guy' was an ugly ass 4 inch incision on my chest, covered by 60 feet of bandage that's GLUED and TAPED into the shape of a third boob. I've been instructed to keep my boob trinity holy for 4 weeks. Boo. No worries though, my vanity hurts more than the boob.* Does Bali make bras for three boobed gauzy tape-mutants?

-Got my new glasses.


They look brown to you, but everything looks sky blue inside. Could have used these in the PA winter...


-Got pizza. Yes. Pepperoni two times in one day. I have three boobs. Any one with a boob triptych totally deserves a ticket to ride the Carbs & Spicy Meat Express. Woo-woo!

*Just how is my vain ass supposed to return to California with a third tit? It's not even a perky one!

Posted by Spurious Nurse at 7/25/2005 07:52:00 PM

22 Comments

  1. Blogger ~*ERY*~ posted at 8:57 PM  
    Umm yeah, I've got a friend with a third nipple...literally (they went to the doctor and everythng. Does that count, cause I'm in love with the Carbs & Spicy Meat Express
  2. Blogger Torrie posted at 9:45 PM  
    LOVE the glasses!
  3. Anonymous kalki posted at 9:50 PM  
    Um, where is the random fruit fact?

    I dig your glasses. You're frickin' adorable, even with the third boob. No, especially with the third boob. ;)
  4. Blogger _Summer_ posted at 10:51 PM  
    Get your third boob out of the way AND LET ME ON THAT TRAIN WOMAN.

    You're a chugga-chugga-chugga-woo-wooin' riot, SP.
  5. Blogger Messiah posted at 11:33 PM  
    Hey, here is my reply for you: http://mexplanation.com/
    i am merely a messenger without extra power...
    i need YOUR help.
  6. Blogger mrtl posted at 12:36 AM  
    Yeah - melon today?

    I love the idea of paper karma. You're a hoot!
  7. Blogger Ern posted at 2:22 AM  
    Hopefully if there is extensive gauze and tapage, it means they stitched your gash nicely so that, 4 weeks from now, it will be minimally scarry. :)

    I hereby endorse any and all pepperoni eating. Eat away!
  8. Blogger marybishop posted at 6:46 AM  
    Glasses are cool! Think of the third boob as just a decoy boob. "Will the real boobs please stand up."

    I wrote about fruit this morning so of course I linked back to you!
  9. Blogger Southern Fried Girl posted at 9:33 AM  
    I am going to put in my vote that y'all move to New Orleans like now. You are so fun.
  10. Blogger Nilbo posted at 10:12 AM  
    I've always wanted to meet a woman with three boobs. But the configuration was always "two in the front, and one in the back for dancing".

    Lovely specs. Shame about your boobs. But it does solve the mystery of Kalki's disappearing boobage.
  11. Blogger echrai posted at 3:09 PM  
    Groovy glasses! Everything good comes in threes, including boobies! Cross my heart bras would no longer be cross my clevage with that going on...
  12. Blogger Holy Schmidt posted at 3:18 PM  
    I need to get mine looked at. I just call it my "Nubin". Jason says that it's just a beauty-boobie-mark, but I say NUBIN!
  13. Blogger Aurora posted at 3:35 PM  
    I hate getting moles removed! Totally not fun! However the pepperoni bagel sounds heavenly. Whats up with everyone blogging about food today.....
  14. Blogger Squirl posted at 6:54 PM  
    Sorry about your boobage, but it's better to get that thing taken out. Cool-ass glasses. :-)
  15. Blogger Marit posted at 10:45 PM  
    Great glasses! I've got them, or close----in brown with a bright green on the inside.

    And----I had a suspicious mole cut out of my arm. FUN STUFF!
  16. Blogger Caroline posted at 11:12 PM  
    I was gonna comment on your last post, but I got distracted by a small gay dog.

    Luuuurve your new glasses, they're just like mine only mine are hot pink with zebra stripes on the inside. Because I'm weird like that. Hope you don't end up with a scar. Although it would be kind of cool because then you could tell people you had a third boob removed...

    And Nilbo, you crack me up. "One in the back for dancing."

    BWHAHAHAHA
  17. Blogger Nilbo posted at 10:42 AM  
    I've never had a suspicious mole removed. But I have had a couple taken off that were very skeptical, and one that was leery.
  18. Blogger song posted at 12:18 PM  
    Spurious - three tits and spicy meat breath? Only you could make it hot. Love the new glasses.

    Nilbo- youre a genious, now I know what the mole on my tit is doing - it's leering.
  19. Blogger schmims posted at 1:17 PM  
    No one blogged today, so I've been reading through your archives. You really can't buy beer at the grocery in the P of A? This is not a state in which I could dwell if this is indeed true. What about gas stations?
  20. Blogger Holy Schmidt posted at 3:56 PM  
    Scmims, here in the great State of Tex-ass, we have dry couties where you can't buy beer at all. Then we have some counties where they only have liqour stores and you can't buy beer at the grocery stores. Thankfully, I live in one where you can buy anything at every store in town. ; )
  21. Blogger Spurious Plum posted at 5:55 PM  
    Ery- Maybe I could draw a little nip on there. Just for show...

    Torrie- My fashion maven...thank you!

    Kalki- Damn,miss one day and the natives get restless. Thanks for the compliment!

    Summer- Now, now. There's room for everyone on the Carbs & Spicy Meats Express. I've got the caboose.

    Messiah- Uh. Thanks AGAIN God...

    MRTL- If there's such a thing, my grant is gonna be stuffed up someones culo in short order.

    Ern- Thank you Doc Ern, you seriously made me feel lots better! Now if I could just pry the big ass bandage off...

    Marybishop- Thanks for the link! Should I paint a duck on the boob. Cause that'd seriusly be funny. And I'd be camoflaged when swimming in a lake...

    SFG- Part of me really wants to live somewhere other than Los Angeles. And I lovelovelove New Orleans. But you'll have to call me when you get that humidity thing taken care of...K? Then we're ON!

    Nilbo- Is there any way you can sketch out how that boob in th eback could be used for dancing? Cause I just can't see it in my minds eye. I'll get a pen.

    Ecrai- How 'bout 'Cross My Scar' bras? Has a nice ring, I think.

    HolySchmidt- Call a dermo. Now. Stop reading. DO IT!

    Airea- We're trying to make you hungry. Love that fan!

    Squirl- I know its the right thing to do, but I'm so, soooo vain. Sigh. Guess I'll have to become a sparkling conversationalist as opposed to just waving my chest around...

    Fullofit- Pictures of the glasses! I wanna see!

    Caroline- Your glasses sound smoking hot! Um, gay dog?

    Nilbo- I've already nailed the dubious mole, the wary mole and the mistrustful mole. Hopefully that's it for awhile. Give your thesaurus a kiss for me!

    Song- Aw, shucks. You people in the comments say the nicest things...

    Schmims- Alcohol is a dicy proposition in PA. No grocery stores or gas stations.You've gotta go to the beer store for beer. If you want wine or hard liqour, you have to go to a SEPARATE store. Which just blowsblowsblows.

    HolySchmidt- If you ever have to move to a dry county, I'll totally ship you booze. Hey, just what do bored high school kids do in a dry county????
  22. Blogger Marit posted at 10:47 PM  
    Glasses can be seen here---are yours Robert Marc?

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/cantmakethisstuffup/24267625/in/set-387896/

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