Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Elevator Etiquette

How long is the appropriate time to hold open an elevator? This seems like an odd reason to pick up the blogging baton again, but really. How far away from an elevator does someone have to be before it's socially acceptable to pretend you didn't see their frantic waving and let the doors swish shut? If one doesn't time it right and other people are on board, one risks being the social pariah of the elevator (i.e. the selfish girl who won't hold open the door). As for the person left behind (they don't say anything about elevators in those books do they) an ill-timed lack of elevator courtesy will garner you a hasty, nasty-ass look as the doors close. Not exactly the last thing you want to see before ascending several stories in a 6x9 deathtrap. Have I mentioned that I don't like elevators?

Before the 'your're a bitch' cry goes up let it be said - I'm not an animal. I'll hold an elevator door for a scampering person like anyone else. But if I've held the door open for 14 people and you're 150 feet away and YOU think we've made eye contact through the dank oblivion that is my local Barnes and Noble parking lot, and the elevator is doing that openy-shutty thing on my wrist that it does right before its alarm screeches and whisks one of my precious, elevator-procuring appendages away forever, why must I incur your wrath for not risking my sweet, sweet limbs? What's with the stinky look, ho-bag?

And more importantly, when the elevator doors open, should the people outside wait for you to exit the elevator before boarding? Or should they try to climb on with you before you are allowed to bail...a process that involves rude people giving you evil looks for being 'in the way' because you've failed to magically exit the elevator by osmosis as they pile on through the one door this blasted piece of machinery has.

What's going on here? All the elevator freaks in the house say, "ho".
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Random Fruit Fact: The Nectarine

"Ripen nectarines at home for 2 to 3 days at room temperature until they are slightly soft along the seam. Ripe fruit will have a sweet nectarine smell that is stronger when the fruit is at room temperature. "

Some of the people in the elevator smell stronger at room temperature too. Learn more about the nectar filled nectarine, here, or some things to do with nectarines from a freaky cook named Sam, here.

Posted by Spurious Nurse at 7/18/2006 09:27:00 PM

7 Comments

  1. Blogger LadyBug posted at 9:05 AM  
    Hi Plum! Welcome back! I've missed you!

    As for elevator etiquette, I say just chicken out and stand near the back. (Of course, that might put you nearer the "room temperature" folks. But that's a risk I might be willing to take to avoid the door-holding drama.)

    How's school going? How are you? How's Mateo?

    Love and hugs to you, dear!
  2. Blogger Effie posted at 9:02 AM  
    I have just become a fountain of knowledge with regards to the nectarine! Very cool!

    I tend to hold the door of the elevator...and on occasion, when i'm feeling especially devious, when I'm all alone on the elevator, I will act like a tiny and very annoying child who will press all the buttons, just before I get off. Bad me!
  3. Blogger laurenbove posted at 2:11 PM  
    Hey Plummy: I've missed you. My recent personna non blogga and yours seem to have been concurrent or something.

    I likey the look.

    cheerio!
  4. Blogger Squirl posted at 8:46 PM  
    You don't have to hold the elevator for the 51st person who comes along. If that person doesn't like it, then he/she can suck it!

    We'd all love an update on your life when you get a chance.

    Miss you, hon!
  5. Anonymous Daphne posted at 5:52 PM  
    mmmm nectarines.

    Sorry, I've really got no clue. I don't use elevators often enough, apparently.
  6. Blogger Ern posted at 3:53 PM  
    I think that the amount of time you hold the elevator door is in direct proportion to your proximity to the coast. But you also have to factor in that even far from the coast, the amount of time you hold the elevator door goes down as the size of the city increases. So a small town on the coast and a big town in middle America might have the harder elevator door holding calculation to make.
  7. Blogger LadyBug posted at 8:47 AM  
    Is it wrong that Ern's nerdy-mathy answer totally turned me on?

    Yes. Yes, it is.

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