Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I Am The Captain of the Queen's Navy...& I'm Hardly Ever Sick At Sea, Dammit.

I'm plum tuckered out, people.

The past few weeks have passed in a blur of drinking, chemistry, drinking, weddings, drinking, birthdays and drinking. If you notice a common thread through the following sentence, it's because you're an alcoholic too. Embrace it. Come on over, I'll fix you a Singapore Sling.

Mateo and I have had more social obligations than you can shake the proverbial stick at. Obligations have recently included, but are not limited to:

-A beautiful wedding for our friends Suzy Q and Mr. Hornsbeeeeez. They're one of those couples you just know will be just fine for the rest of their lives. I got drunk.

-A night out on the town with Free-Like-A-Child-Mike for his birthday. I got drunk.

-A giant Mexican birthday party with piƱatas, an inflatable bouncy-bounce thing for the kids, and a crapload of homemade food made by abuelitas. I drank there too.

-Had my 30th birthday. Got drunk then, also.

I'm not sure if it's the "I'm 30" part, or the "I'm drinking more in a month than I did in my last year of college" part (which is a lie anyway since I could drink every pirate in the Carribean under the table during my last year of college). But I'm just pooped.

Energy tips anyone? And no, I'm not taking 'trucker speed'.
Random Fruit Fact: The Feijoa

"The flesh inside is cream-colored and encases a jelly-like center. The texture is gritty, close to that of a pear. The flesh tastes like a combination of several other fruits, usually described as pineapple, guava, and strawberry. Some people report a taste similar to that of a quince or lemon. "

Um. These people sound confused. So am I. Hand me another margarita, and learn more about the Feijoa, here.

Posted by Spurious Nurse at 10/04/2005 10:39:00 AM


  1. Blogger Southern Fried Girl posted at 8:17 AM  
    I would say mass quantities of caffeine mainlined right into a major vein, but you probably already tried that.
  2. Blogger Candace posted at 8:57 AM  
    I've given up on the coffee. I've switched to Chai in the morning, green tea in the afternoon. WOOO!

    Also, after a night of over-imbibing, take a couple of pain relievers (Tylenol or ibuprofen, your choice) and drink a LARGE glass of water. Then, every time you get up to pee (because let's face it, if you're over-imbibing, you're gonna pee A LOT), drink more water.

    I guarantee that you will not have a hangover and will not be as tired the next morning.

    No, really. Try it.
  3. Blogger Nessa posted at 9:49 AM  
    awwwww - happy late birthday! and I feel ya!
  4. Anonymous Daphne posted at 10:12 AM  
    I just turned 30, too, and I'm going with half 30-ness and half you're working how many hours and taking college math--I mean Chemistry--and doing what else? Oh you just moved across the country? Well buck up dear.

    Don't worry, in another month or so you should be adjusted. Not that you won't need more sleep/fewer opportunities for others to take cute pictures of you drunk, but you'll have adjusted to the current state of your life.

    That's the theory anyway and I'm sticking to it!
  5. Blogger mrtl posted at 10:29 AM  
    Happiest of birthdays to you, Plum. I'd love a margarita, damnit.
  6. Blogger kilowatthour posted at 3:05 PM  
    happy birthday to you! my advice: more sleep, less drinky? wait, no. that's wrong. more sleep, MORE drinky.
  7. Blogger Torrie posted at 3:08 PM  
    Happy birthday you big lush!
  8. Blogger Aurora posted at 3:22 PM  
    Happy happy birthday! Hope you had a lot of fun! Chemistry is math and i hate math therefore i will happily continue on with my classics and history degree....
  9. Blogger Annejelynn posted at 4:50 PM  
    HapPy belated BIRthDAY grrrly!
  10. Blogger Squirl posted at 6:35 PM  
    Happy Birthday, sweetie! Do you think that, perhaps, stress from overwork and many social obligations leaves you wanting to drink to destress then tired afterward??? Maybe???

    I take a number of herbal-type things. I take alfalfa tablets. I also take a capsule called Raw Adrenalin. There's some green stuff that you can mix into a nasty drink that's available at the health food store.

    And I looooove the title. A little Gilbert and Sullivan.
  11. Blogger Ern posted at 1:01 AM  
    Happy birthday!

    I love the picture with the reflection and the smeary orange lights.

    Maybe it's better to just keep drinking. Start in the morning if necessary. Just get through the end of the quarter/semester any way you can. :)

    Just kidding. Don't start drinking in the morning. I don't think you could fit AA into your schedule.
  12. Blogger schmims posted at 1:01 PM  
    Happy belated birthday!

    For the exausted thing - try sleeping. Yeah, I'm a smart ass. Better than a dumb ass!

    Alkaseltzer morning relief is a miracle after a night of drinking. Also, try taking a B complex before you go to sleep. But be ware, you will pee neon yellow.
  13. Blogger Kassi posted at 2:29 PM  
    Happy Birthday!

    Try B12.
  14. Blogger Bradley Egel posted at 4:33 PM  
    ...Hello...I'm the Spurious Plum...and I am an Alcoholic...



    The Egel Nest
  15. Blogger spoonleg posted at 6:09 PM  
    ummm, what's trucker's speed and where can i get some?

    love the pics, you're a cute drunk!
  16. Blogger echrai posted at 12:41 PM  
    Sounds like you need some Red Bull and Vodka, babe. :) The true energy drink for any alcoholic. Okay, I've never had it, but supposedly it tastes good. HAPPY BDAY oh old one. (I can get away with that since I'm like a whole year younger. :P So there!)
  17. Blogger Holy Schmidt posted at 6:26 PM  
    Happy day of the birth of the Plumb, on the day of which she was birthdid.
  18. Blogger Holy Schmidt posted at 10:31 PM  
    I have to explain my total lack of spelling abilities on my previous comment.

    I had taken 3 pills for a migraine, 1 muscle relaxer and 2 Benadryl caplets. I was fucked in the brain.

    Happy birthday P.L.U.M.!
  19. Blogger Foxy Drama Queen posted at 10:37 PM  
    Happy Birthday! I agree with spoonleg, where can I get this trucker speed business?!
    What you need is a couch, a blanket and about 48 hours to do NOTHING!! If there's a friend or feline to do that with then so be it ;) If that fails.... drink water....?! :s
  20. Blogger ~*ERY*~ posted at 10:21 AM  
    Water sleep water sleep water sleep. That is what college has taught me. After a night of glorious drinkage you need to drink something not weighted down by alcohol. And then sleep all day. So my advice is to drink at least two huge glasses of water before bed. And then sleep for a very long time.

  21. Blogger Holy Schmidt posted at 10:34 AM  
    Aren't you all better yet?

    Let us know. We're all worried and shit, yo.
  22. Blogger Squirll posted at 4:53 PM  
    my liver fears my 30th birthday....
  23. Blogger marybishop posted at 2:04 PM  
    Happy Birthday (belated) and this time I'll raise my glass to you so you won't have to...does that help?

    Drink lots of water!

    I've had those non stop party drinking crazies also...
  24. Blogger Closet Metro posted at 9:56 AM  
    If you were that wasted on a Tuesday, why am I even bothering to look for an update on a Saturday morning?
  25. Blogger Random and Odd posted at 1:45 PM  
    Hi, my name is Kristine and I am a recovering plumaholic.
    I had been sober for several weeks because I am a dolt that hasn't been reading too many blogs.

    I fell off the blog-wagon and I am back.

    I'll take a captain & coke with a Plum chaser.
  26. Blogger Annejelynn posted at 7:43 PM  
    ahhh, you must be swamped as hell, I assume - ya know, since no posty posting since the 4th? I feel for ya!
  27. Blogger Bradley Egel posted at 1:28 PM  

    We miss your posts!

    The Egel Nest
  28. Blogger Nilbo posted at 7:11 AM  
    Psst. Faux Aubergine ... darlin' ... psst ... time to wake up, sweetie.

    That's it. Yes, sweetie, I know, the light always hurts first thing, just squint your eyes ... that's it ... uuuup we go ... there's a good girl ... I'll run the shower, darlin' ... yes, dear, nice and warm, just how you like it ... I made you some coffee, can you smell it? Good, dear .. OK, let's go hop in the shower ... that's it ... no, I won't peek. In you go.

    There, now, doesn't that feel better? I'm sure it does, dear. Here's your towel ... we might want to have a look at that mole later, darlin', but for now, there's some coffee over there by your puter ... now, if you'd be so kind as to make a freaking blog entry?

    Thank you.
  29. Blogger Southern Fried Girl posted at 5:57 PM  
    Girl, where the hell are you? Still drunk or what?
  30. Blogger ~*ERY*~ posted at 1:06 AM  
    Haha Nilbo, you're funny...Plum...you are very very drunk apparently because you have been tuckered out for almost a month now and i'm just about to throw in the towel and assume you've fallen into an alcoholic coma...please let that not be true.
  31. Blogger Annejelynn posted at 4:19 PM  
    ahhhh, poor Plummy must be busy busy still - hang in there!
  32. Anonymous Browen posted at 11:14 PM  
    Happy Birthday Darlin'

    I'm glad you had a fun, albiet tiring birthday. Now, a month (almost) should have been time to recover and give us even just a teeny weeny little post to let us know you're alive and enjoying your early thirties.

    Muah Dahling.
  33. Blogger Annejelynn posted at 1:58 PM  
    don't forget to come up for some air girl!
  34. Blogger Nilbo posted at 7:58 AM  
    And the only sound is the gentle whisper of the wind as it carries the tumbleweeds along ...
  35. Blogger Torrie posted at 4:35 PM  

    Sorry, I'm not as subtle as everyone else.
  36. Blogger Amy posted at 5:03 PM  
    Those "Chaser" pills are good. I tried them once and they worked like a charm.

    I do the one alcohol drink then one non alcohol drink thing. Keeps it under control. Until I forget which one i had last.
  37. Blogger Susie posted at 4:58 PM  
    One day at a time, Plum. (Or is it "one drink at a time?")

    *I can't believe she's still passed out*
  38. Blogger Spurious Plum posted at 2:26 AM  
    Dear Everyone,

    SORRY! No, really!


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