A Hurricane Of Hot Mateo - AND - The Perils of Chemistry
Got a super-duper tag by the mighty Annejelynn, whose seaweed paper I not-so-secretly covet. Yummmmmm. Seeeeeaweed.
The Rules
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.
Here goes:
Mateo (avec 4 beers) - "I think I wanna write a book called The Perfect Shitstorm..."
Nicely done, Annejelynn. Thank you!
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Chemistry: The Science of Sucking Ass
If someone offers you a free chemistry class (hey, someone might...), tell them to suck on your left ass cheek. Sure, you get to light things on fire and wear big honkin' goggles, but it's also, uh, HARD.
So in case some dirty chem pusher tries to step to you with free shit, here's some important rules to consider prior to accepting (remember, the first hit is always free, that's how they getcha addicted):
Rule #1 - Chemistry is math.
Rule #2 - When you light magnesium on fire it makes beautiful, white sparkly star-showers. Unfortunately it also makes the stupid bitch in the front row think her hair is on fire, and hysterical shrieking ensues. What a dumbass.
Rule #3 - If I had a pole, polyatomic ions could smoke it.
Rule #4 - Chemistry is math.
Rule #5 - This may seem obvious, but chemistry is taught by chemists. Sadistic bastards* that like playing with fire and acid. ACID. Jesus.
Rule #6 - Everyone in your chemistry class wants to be a doctor, and they're all hoity-toity about it. If you wanna be a nurse, your ticket to Ego Deflation City has been punched. Which is funny, because nurses ROCK.
Rule #7 - Rule #7 only applies if you're in real college. At community college, everyone in your class wants to be a professional fashion designer.
Rule #8 - Chemistry is MATH.
Rule #9 - All atoms wanna have 8 electrons in their outer shell. They'll do anything to get those extra electrons. Including handjobs.
Rule #10 - Burning sulphur smells like a well-used Kentucky outhouse.
Rule #11 - CHEMISTRY IS FUCKING MAAAAAATH.
Rule #12 - Ignore all these rules if you like math. If you like math, chemistry will give you multiple geekgasms.
* All chemists are sadistic bastards except for my friend K-Dawg. She's a trunk fulla sugar. That can kill you.
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Random Fruit Fact: The Sharon Fruit
"It is important to remember that the entire fruit is edible - soft or firm: It is always ready to be eaten!!"
Yes. The Sharon fruit is a hussy.
Yes. There really IS a fruit called "Sharon".
No. I don't know if she's able to have multiple geekgasms.
Learn more about the Sharon fruit, here.
Posted by Spurious Nurse at 9/30/2005 08:33:00 PM
16 Comments
Aw, Spurious. I miss your sarcasm! *soaking up plumminess*
Remember, most of those people who want to be doctors won't get to be doctors. Then they will try to be nurses and discover that, OH, nurses work hard and have good bedside manner.
Geekgasms! Hahahahahaha!
Your 23rd post sentence is perfect. The essence of why I like it over here. :)
I was wondering...Is chemisty math?
Nurses do rock. They do so much of the work. You are going to rock at being a nurse!
it's true: nurses ROCK. i could never be one, and would also never consider being hoighty-toighty about wanting to be a doctor. i think, in fact, i should have my examined. also, i'm with spoonleg-- pathophysiology is booooring.
I got two things out of that, math and hand jobs. Hmmm
You bet nurses rock!
All this hear learnin' is taking away from your blogging time and I just won't hear of it.
God I hate math.
I just had to go and google Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. Not a good idea, folks.
I miss burning magnesium in chemistry class. Do you know where I can get some?
I'm not a real nurse but I play one...well not on TV.
Congratulations on all the cool challenges you are taking on! Life is short.
I don't think I've ever had a thought that combined together both "Seaweed" and "yummy" ~ would you like me to send it to you!?! I still haven't yet thrown it away...
Math Sucks. Nurses Rock. That is all.
The Sharon fruit and the thing sharing the Fruit of the Looms seem to have a lot in common.
I think I just had a geekgasm.
Great rules! Now here's the thing. I liked Chemistry almost the entire time it was math. It's where chemistry turned into physics that I freaked out. My brain was not ready for that. Now, though, that I finally understand how the seasons work, I'm ready to try again. No, not ready to go back to school just to take P-Chem, just I want to see if I can do it now.
So congrats on your chutzpah and going back to school!
hahhahhrhrhahaar i just did this 23rd post 5th sentence thing, with this result:
"i loved the ritual, when i wasn't creeped out by it."
also, in my comment up there, i meant "i should have my head examined."
No matter how you put it, chemistry is a crapload better than accounting. There is nothing sexual, or sparkly, or even remotely interesting about Accounting-it's ALL math and no fire.
Accounting = No handjobs. Boo.
MATH IS EEEEEEVIIIILLLLL
Not posting in forever is also evil.
We miss you plummy!!!
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