Sunday, February 20, 2005

We're Gonna Party Like it's 1999 (feet long)

Last evening, we attended a soiree at the home of one Abraham Wheeler, an acquaintance of Mateo's from library school. Going to this function was a must, since in his e-vite, Abe had described himself as ALL of the following:

- Mr. Rutheford B. Deathrays
- The Prettiest Man in Pittsburgh
- The Duelling Prince of St. Martan

Abe and his lovely wife Rachel are being kept apart by cruel fate (she got a job in the Bay Area and Abe's still in school at Pitt), but Abe decided he wanted to have"one big party so that I can be antisocial for the rest of the year and not get hassled for never having anyone over."*

Somehow during the course of the evening, Mateo and Abe wound up in front of Abe's shelf full of weird ass/cool movies (go Lone Wolf and Cub!). Mateo mentioned that he had overheard some girls discussing another party hosted by Abe/Rachel. "They said you were showing this blaxploitation movie where some guy kills people with his junk." Abe freaked out. "Oh, you mean 'Soul Justice'? It's so awesome!"*

I was off in the kitchen getting wasted, eating lots of pretzels, and arguing over who was better, Pink Floyd or Hall & Oates (I think we all know the answer to that one), when everyone started drifting towards the living room and staring at the TV. I wanted to see what was causing all this commotion (it was taking me away from my pretzels, dammit), which is how I came to see a man being strangled by another man's 9 foot wang, while a giggly seventies girl with a big fro looked on.

9 foot wangs and pretzels. Good party, Abe Wheeler. We salute you!

*All quotes in this entry will be paraphrased because I was stinko.
Random Fruit Fact: The Tangerine

"The tangerine resembles the orange but is smaller and oblate in shape and has a more pungent odor, a thinner rind, and sections that may be readily separated. It has a food value comparable to that of the orange, but the fruit is more delicate and subject to damage in handling."

Ooh. Fragile little thing. Learn more about why Tang doesn't come from tangerines, here.

Posted by Spurious Nurse at 2/20/2005 11:28:00 AM


  1. Anonymous honestyrain posted at 8:16 PM  
    sounds like quite the event.

    in other news, i used to have this template at my old blogger blog. it's nice, ya?
  2. Blogger Closet Metro posted at 12:37 AM  
    I might have bad dreams now, after seeing a friend of mine in an old video with a giant afro, and then hearing about your movie.

    (BTW - regarding your comment on my blog, back in December I had written a post similar to your comment, but hadn't thought of mashmallows Great minds think alike!)
  3. Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes posted at 7:55 AM  
    I always thought 'Tang came from, well. . .never mind.

    Word to the wise: Always carry the pretzel bowl with you. Pretzels were made to travel.
  4. Anonymous Spurious Plum posted at 11:40 AM  
    Honesty Rain- Thanks for the kind words, I like your style too! I'm thinking of changing all this around but that requires me to be good with code. Ha!

    Closet metro: Thanks for stopping by! Read your post and once and once I picked myself up off the floor, I barfed. Thanks!

    BFE - Tang and pretzels go together, honey. You know that.

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