Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Dork In An Elevator

It’s funny. Sometimes you have those non-blog-writin’ days. You wrack your brains for something interesting or anecdotal to post, and you come up dry. Then, if you’re like me, after about 10 minutes of blog-guilt, something shiny comes along and distracts you, and you forget all about it.

When Mateo called me for lunch today, I had passed the blog-guilt stage. All I had on my mind was a good dose of lunch-with-husband and a couple of bagels for my tummy.

As I entered the elevator, I checked my cell phone, and moved to push the button. Funny. The first floor button was already lit. Great. I can indulge my truly lazy, I-can’t-even-be-bothered-to-push-an-elevator-button tendencies!

My back was achy, so as the elevator descended, I did my signature spine stretchy/un-kinking move. The one where I flop my arms around, shrug my shoulders, twist my hips in circles and shake my butt all at once.

You know, the one that makes me look like a first prize winner at a psychiatric ward’s interpretive dance contest.

As the elevator slowed to a stop, one of my shoulder shrugs jiggled my head to the right, and something caught my eye.

An unknown man from my building with a truly huge smile on his face was in the back of the elevator trying sooooo hard not to laugh at me. He had seen the entire spine stretchy/un-kinky dance! I had looked at my phone when I entered the elevator and totally missed him! He was the one that pushed the button so my lazy ass didn’t have to!

“Um…” he said, searching for something that wouldn't make him bust out cackling.

“Oh, wow,” I said blankly. “I’m an ass.”

And then we both just cracked up. Blog post prayers officially answered.
Random Fruit Fact: The Aronia

“Aronia juice has been increasingly used in the food industry to supply a natural red color in products with poor color stability.”

Maybe it’s like the natural red color I was displaying in the elevator today after being completely embarrassed.... Lordy. Learn more about the Aronia, here.

Posted by Spurious Nurse at 6/07/2005 03:34:00 PM


  1. Blogger Circus Kelli posted at 3:56 PM  
    Look on the bright side, darlin... at least you didn't fart. :)
  2. Blogger Nessa posted at 4:46 PM  
    and ANOTHER make me laugh-my-ass-off post today! Thanks, Plum! Hope the rest of your day went swimmingly!!!!
  3. Blogger Southern Fried Girl posted at 4:46 PM  
    Or pick your undies out of your ass. Or a flag boogie out of your nose. Or better yet do one of those very sureptitious scratches of your nether region that you don't know why it's itching but it is so you gotta scratch. THAT would be bad.

    I so wish you lived closer because you crack me the fuck up.
  4. Blogger Torrie posted at 5:37 PM  
    CK, my thoughts EXACTLY!
  5. Anonymous lawbrat posted at 7:51 PM  
    I'm picturing it, and its funny. How did he not bust a gut laughing? Yeah, at least there was not a fart in that combo.
  6. Blogger mrtl posted at 8:08 PM  
  7. Blogger echrai posted at 9:13 PM  
    *applause* If you can't enjoy your own mortifying moments, how can you possibly laugh at anyone else's? You would never understand. Besides, it's not worth the embarrassment. :)
  8. Blogger Meggan posted at 10:57 AM  
    Ahh, the hilarity. You had me cracking up at work, just the thought of somebody doing a wiggly spine-unkinking dance in an elevator... Hehehehe...
  9. Blogger Squirl posted at 1:02 PM  
    Did you ever hear the phrase "Be careful what you ask for, you might get it"? Next time I'm trying to come up with a good post I'll try not to wish too hard. Maybe that's why my zipper broke last month. It did give me a blog topic. Thanks for sharing yours. :-)
  10. Anonymous Anonymous posted at 1:54 PM  
    When I was a child my crazy grandfather had me and brother stand close together and parallel to one another while staring directly in fron of us upward at a 90 degree angle. As if we were focusing at singular point in the sky.

    He had us do this for hours.

    Grandfather said it was practice for taking the elevator.

    A butchered Steve Wright joke.

    I could totally go for some garlic right now.

    El Guapo
  11. Blogger spoonleg posted at 2:25 PM  
    there are MUCH WORSE things you coulda done with an unknown patron lingering in the back of the elevator! Nose picking, cleavage adjusting, pantyhose yanking, and farting all come to mind. Of course, that doesn't diminish the embarrassment of the moment at all. You'll probably blush from here on out every time you see that man!
  12. Blogger laurenbove posted at 2:47 PM  
    Too funny...I'd have done that knowing someone was in the elevator. Clearly you have more "couth" than I!
  13. Blogger Aurora posted at 2:59 PM  
    Your to funny! Hopefully there won't be anymore lurking men in the elevator. Although it is kinda hard to miss someone in a four foot square. :P Enjoy the day!
  14. Anonymous kalki posted at 10:34 PM  
    Heh. NICE.

    And it was totally worth it, wasn't it? Just to get to blog about it...
  15. Blogger Susie posted at 11:46 PM  
    This is the last post I'm reading before I exit blogworld tonight. What a delightful one! Thank you for humiliating yourself and sharing it. You're the BEST. I needed this tonight.

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