Thursday, June 16, 2005

SPD: Draw It Your DAMN Self - or - Fried Like a Georgia Chicken

Did I mention that I got horribly, disfiguringly, vanity-scarringly sunburned in Washington, DC? I'm ususally relatively vigilant about sunscreen since I burst into flames when hit with direct sunlight, and I haven't had a 'cook eggs on my skin' sunburn for years and years. But this time, I forgot.

And somewhere around the 3:00 on Sunday, as Mateo and I walked through the gardens next to Congress, my dearest love turned to me and said the words any pasty-faced honkey bitch fears:

"Wow, honey. Looks like you got some color."

Fuck. In a flash I foresaw what will now be next month of my life. Filled with the requisite cooked-crustacean redness, itchiness and peeling that accompany's any of my jaunts in the sun which exceed 15 nanoseconds.

What I didn't know, was that my purse (my ass even carrying a purse was weird, but that's a separate post) had pulled my stupid v-neck shirt off-center. Meaning I now have a crimson, v-shaped, asymmetrical bib of future skin cancer stretched across my chest.

Nose, forehead and cheeks got a red too, but not AS red. Red enough for idiots to say, 'WOW, did you get burnt?' No, idiot. I've always looked like someone threw a wet Ferrari on my chest. So here's my self drawn SPD entry:

The red parts are the cooked ones.

P.S. And look. I'm thinking about fruit, just for you folks.
Random Fruit Fact: The Red Naval Orange

"attractive due to its near crimson flesh..."

See? Crimson flesh = attractive. Sure. Oh, my aching ego... Learn more about the ned naval orange, here.

Posted by Spurious Nurse at 6/16/2005 09:25:00 PM


  1. Blogger Candace posted at 10:13 PM  
    Ouchie, ouchie, ow.

    Get yourself to the drugstore (or Target, where I bought mine) and get some AfterSun lotion. It's mostly aloe and it feels SOOOOOOO cold and wonderful when you put it on the burn. And you can use it every few minutes and it's fine! And take some Ibuprofen.

    But stay far, far, far away from Noxema. You know, it says (or used to say) on the jar that you can use it for sunburn. I did and ended up getting topical steriods from the doctor because of it. No Noxema. Noxema is BAD.
  2. Blogger Torrie posted at 11:09 PM  
    That's super sexy, mama.
  3. Blogger marybishop posted at 7:21 AM  
    Don't worry, you look wonderful in red!

    Great drawing...makes me feel your pain...I'm voting for that Aloe stuff really works.
  4. Blogger Southern Fried Girl posted at 8:15 AM  
    From one pasty honkey bitch to another, I say nice pic. :)
  5. Blogger Circus Kelli posted at 8:28 AM  
    Great picture -- It makes me hurt for you... I hope you're feeling better soon. Get some aloe, doll.
  6. Blogger Nessa posted at 10:06 AM  
    HA! Love it! Girl - get thee some moisturizer that has at least SPF 15 to help out on the forgetful days!
  7. Blogger kilowatthour posted at 11:39 AM  
    I am very sad for your skin, but mostly I am so excited to go out and buy magic markers! And draw with them!
  8. Blogger Squirl posted at 11:49 AM  
    Oh, that looks painful. I hope it goes away quietly and soon.
  9. Blogger Caroline posted at 2:14 PM  
    Oh dear god, this, THIS is what gives me nightmares.

    I am way too white to be anywhere sunny. At all. I have to stay inside in the summer, and when I do go out I WEAR LONG SLEEVES. Sucks so much.
  10. Blogger Caroline posted at 2:16 PM  
    And for regular burn, aloe helps, but when I got sun blisters I was surprised that vinegar took the edge off the pain. I have no idea why it worked. Maybe because I was delusional at that point.
  11. Blogger Effie posted at 3:16 PM  
    That's gotta hurt!!!--someone I know breaks out in a rash if she stays out in the sun too long--her arm looks like it is covered in hives!
  12. Anonymous lawbrat posted at 8:53 PM  
    I'm jumping on the after-sun aloe bandwagon.
    It really works wonders. Sunburns are the worst! You poor thing.

    Great picture. I love how you put in the red burn.
    Very light hug to you!
  13. Blogger spoonleg posted at 3:09 AM  
    Hey baby, show me your bib of future skin cancer!
  14. Blogger stephlys posted at 8:54 AM  
    Would you send me the link for SPD or is this an assignment you made up? The designer who works for me is looking for ways to keep inspired (there aren't in inspiring things in our office besides the view and she can't see it because of the cube wall between us).

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