Monday, August 15, 2005

The Spoils Of Obligation - OR - Where Did This Crap Come From?

So, I have a hard time saying 'no' to people.

While this particular character attribute had the potential to make me popular in high school (it didn't, dammit), it makes keeping a clutter free Casa De Spurious difficult. I can't fathom why I voluntarily allowed many of these items to cross my threshhold. Examples:

The big ugly green puff chair. What color is it? Ah yes, the color of MOLD.

A enormous 'marry me, marry my stuff' painting. It only took a few years to warm up to it...

How the hell did Cat Stevens get in my house? Seriously.

The huge green painting that's nice, I suppose, but HUGE. Really. The original painting is, like, 4 inches square. My grandfather's reproduction is probably 4 1/2 feet tall. There are ponies that size, people.

The big green vase Granma Spurious gave to me that isn't a bong, even though EVERYONE asks if it is.

The swordfish picture. Nice shorts, ho-bag. Get out of my house.

There's a reason this fish is in my basement. Sweet Christ on a cracker.

Is there a Betty Ford Clinic for people who can't say no? I apparently suffer from some sort of I-don't-wanna-offend-you-even-though-I-still-cuss-like-a-sailor kinda thing. But I really need to work on gracefully turning folks down. Suggestions?

P.S. I'll still be cussing like a sailor, bitches. Don't try and fuck with that.
Random Fruit Fact: Salal Berries

"produces lovely dark purple berries around this time of year which taste a little like gamy blueberries. Getting anyone to eat these berries is damn near impossible. "

Should've called me. I'll apparently take anything. Learn more about the salal berry, here.

Posted by Spurious Nurse at 8/15/2005 09:57:00 PM


  1. Blogger Susie posted at 12:02 AM  
    Keep grandpop's painting and grandma's bong. The rest . . . things often mysteriously disappear during a cross-country move, doggone it!
  2. Anonymous lawbrat posted at 8:06 AM  
    Im so with Susie on this one. Its amazing what can be 'lost'.
    I do really like that painting. I guess its difficult to see how big it is, but its beautiful.
  3. Blogger Circus Kelli posted at 8:25 AM  
    Plummie, I can testify to the fact that things do get "lost" during a move. WHOLE PILES OF THINGS. It's very sad, really... I mean, I do so miss that weird doll with the devilish eyes that my step-mother-in-law gave us (with a knitted dress of yarn that REEKED of cigarette smoke). Did I mention it played the wedding march? Oh yes, very sad.
  4. Blogger Aurora posted at 11:31 AM  
    Hun, i have a storage room in my apartment for a reason. Ever few months i go in there and throw crap out. Cause like you i don't want to offend anyone. The chair is not that bad though, it looks comfy...
  5. Blogger Squirll posted at 11:47 AM  
    F-ing packratabilites! (it is a great word isntit) mom lost things in a move for 25 years, then they magically appeared and then couldent part with the fondu pot that she never used and that had a 25years of dust..
  6. Blogger echrai posted at 12:26 PM  
    I have the same problem. It's the n-part. I'm fine with the o - like o-kay. O-h, all right. O-nly one more time. But that darned nnnnn... just can't get it in front there.
  7. Blogger laurenbove posted at 12:43 PM  
    Hey Plum: Gosh I sort of like that stuff...well, not the chair but it does look comfy.

    I say let M throw out the stuff you don't want and you have fine "blended" beverage prepared for you by a small appliance friend.

    I have a new one. =)
  8. Blogger Candace posted at 4:39 PM  
    Think of it this way: you give that stuff to someplace or someone else. Then someone who REALLY wants it will take it home and give it a place of honor.

    You'll be making someone else feel really happy when you get rid of stuff you don't want.
  9. Blogger Spurious Plum posted at 7:54 PM  
    Susie- I'll only keep Granma's bong if I can call it 'Granma's Bong' for the rest of my days...that's awesome.

    Lawbrat- It's nice, just HUGE. It's actually difficult to figure out where to put it...

    CK- I'm sensing a trend here. Some of this stuff is really big, though. Maybe the moving truck could go over a 'bump'?

    Airea- Unfortunately, it's not even that comfy. That's why the back massager lives there. Having an ugly green chair that vibrates makes it better.

    Squirll- I still don't understand the whole fondue thing...someone please explaing why chocolate and cheese dipped things are...wait, I just figured it out.

    Echrai- A toast to all the folks who cant say no! Huzzah!

    Laurenbove- Ooh. Blended beverage, eh? But what happened to the old blender, or as I referred to him in my head, Mr. Whirly?

    Misfit- If I get rid of that fish, Mama Spurious' head will EXPLODE. And that's bad.
  10. Blogger Southern Fried Girl posted at 7:55 PM  
    Sorry, still laughing at the phrase "Christ on a cracker."
  11. Blogger LadyBug posted at 9:07 AM  
    As the others have said, moving so much stuff so far would be too difficult, Plum. And your local Goodwill or Salvation Army could put that stuff to good use, I'm sure.
  12. Blogger Weetzie posted at 10:50 AM  
    yep...granny's vase sure looks like a bong!
  13. Blogger bluewyvern posted at 11:04 AM  
    Wow. That is indeed a lot of large and atrocious stuff. I'm pretty particular about what I'll suffer to have lying around my house to have to look at -- I guess I should be thankful that my boyfriend just doesn't *own* very much stuff apart from his computer -- most of the apartment's furnishings are my own, and what he has is pretty inoffensive.

    Good luck with all that.

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