Friday, March 25, 2005


Several people at work took today off, screaming "IT'S FOR JESUS!", and leaving me to cover their shit. I'm sure Christ appreciates you lounging around your house, eating pizza and watching all the March Madness games you taped.

When I questioned these people, no one could successfully tie together eggs, bunnies and Christ to my satisfaction. Here's what I have so far:

Bunnies - Don't lay (or dye) eggs or Sons of God
Eggs - Don't have bunnies or Saviors inside their shells, but if they did it would be deeeeep.
Jesus - Didn't lay eggs or bunnies (unless it's in a part of the bible I missed), but he may have dyed eggs with bunnies.

If anyone can make the connection, let me know.

Also...DUDE! I just had an epiphany! Remember Clue? The board game?

Remember Professor Plum?

*Image courtesy of JESUS!

It's me! Look:

Don't even try to step to my professorship either, or I'll smack you upside your sorry head with a candlestick.

This is awesome. I'm gonna go get drunk. FOR JESUS!

Posted by Spurious Nurse at 3/25/2005 08:08:00 PM


  1. Blogger Amanda B. posted at 9:49 PM  
    You are funny. You do not look like Professor Plum, except for that eyebrow thing you are doing.

    See my thoughts on "evil bunny day" at veryzen. We think alike.
  2. Anonymous buttergun posted at 10:32 PM  
    I'm gonna get drunk and have sex with a jew FOR JESUS. (He is still getting an Easter basket. Jewish or not, he ain't rainin on my candy parade.)
  3. Anonymous mrtl posted at 12:03 AM  
    whew - I was just contemplating the Jesus/bunny/chocolate connection over at Dad Gone Mad, thinking I was a bad Catholic growing up not to have learned that one.

    Thanks for the bedtime tuck-in laugh.
  4. Blogger uglyagnes posted at 11:15 AM  
    Jesus DID die on a chocolate cross.
  5. Blogger Susie posted at 12:01 PM  
    Professor Plum, you've actually challenged me to go see if I could learn something. Here's what I found, although I cannot vouch for its validity:
    In Saxon lore, the pagan goddess of springtime was Eastre, and the rabbit was her earthly symbol. When the Christians went to try to convert those Eastre-worshipping folks, and discovered they already had a big ol' party going on right about the same time as Christians celebrated the resurrection, well, the Christians horned in on it and it all became mixed into Easter. (I am a Christian, but I admit, we are notorious, historically, for commandeering other people's parties). The eggs were part of Eastre's springtime shindig, and are used in a lot of cultures to represent new life, rebirth. Chocolate and fancy hats are because, well they're chocolate and fancy hats. WTF?
  6. Anonymous Anonymous posted at 3:41 PM  
    I am. So. Freaking. Bored at work today. You just saved me from utter despair.

    Thank you, Spurious Professor Plum, for making me laugh at Jesus again.

  7. Blogger part-timer posted at 10:31 PM  
    Hilarious, Prof. Plum!! I was reading a religious Easter book to my son tonight (I'm not very religious, just trying to be a good mom and all) and he was all, "But where's the Easter bunny?" I have no idea, son. I have no idea. Hee hee. I think the random imagery is all about Spring/new life/resurrection, tho. But I'm just guessing.
  8. Blogger laurenbove posted at 10:38 PM  
    Sorry Plum: Your cuteness shines through. Wow and your hair looks totally awesome! What did you do? I've got hair kind of like yours and it never is so smooth and shiney! Damn, tell me...I gotta know.

    I'm going and am getting drunk for Jesus. I think that if I was he, during this tumultuous time (am I spelling anything right?) I'd SO want to be drunk.

    When I was small my gmother decided to go all batty on me and one Easter she demanded to know what "the Easter-eagle brought me for Christmas." What's a grand daughter to say? uhhhhhhhhhh candy....

    Anyway: Here's to leftover vodka and Kaluha with milk and ice. It aint half bad. Cheers!

    I'm having Ham tomorrow. DOes everyone really hate ham? It was on sale. I had to buy it.

    Oh well: Happy Easter All!
  9. Anonymous Anonymous posted at 2:30 AM  
    Why are you such a sacriligious bitch? Don't you have any respect for the true believers out here
    ? Maybe if you tried dancing @ Gretchen's reception, you would believe that there is a God!!!! (Gretchen's Father) OOOps. I think I've just given away my secret identity. Too much bourbon & Incredibles, & not enough logic!!!!!!!!! Have a good one !

    Love, Jerry

    (Gretchen's Dad.)
  10. Anonymous Anonymous posted at 8:00 PM  
    Happy Easter! A toast to you. For Jesus!

  11. Anonymous kalki posted at 9:58 PM  
    I for one think you NAILED that Professor Plum look! I too have pondered the bunny/eggs/Jesus connection. I'm with you - let's all go drink FOR JESUS. Pass the shot glass, AMEN.
  12. Blogger echrai posted at 2:21 PM  
    Professor Plum in the Dining Room with the masa!

    Actually, in that shot you look distressingly like one of my college roommates who I sadly lost touch with. Her favorite color was purple. And even dyed her hair purple for a period of time. Ah, those were the days.

    Pardon me, back to my chocolate coma. (And I'm about as unchristian as they get, but come ON, it's CANDY!)
  13. Blogger Nessa posted at 5:29 PM  
    too funny! when i first surfed over here a while back and saw your name, i thought about professor plum!!

Post a Comment

« Home