Monday, March 21, 2005

Gay Sheep and Heroin Bags

Some journalistic pieces just reach out and grab ya. Abra, abra, cadabra. But articles containing the words 'Beaver Lineman Caught With Stolen Sheep' demand special attention. Apparently, a drunken Oregon State football lineman was recently caught stealing a genetically engineered gay sheep. Now, I love Oregon State and all God's gay creatures, but this means a Beaver stole a gay sheep. Hee. Props to Mateo for finding this in the 'Sports' section.

Also, there have been several emails regarding my recent pic of the Mexican food my Mom shipped:
Some of you have met Mama Spurious, and though she may seem like a Columbian drug lord, she unfortunately isn't. It'd be awesome if she was, though. Let's address this in the easiest possible way. With pictures!

This is heroin:

This is masa:

This is what you use heroin for:
bad stuff

This is what you use masa for:


This is your brain on heroin:
sad brain

This is your brain on masa:
happpy brain

Any questions?
*Images courtesy of me,,,,,, and, respectively.

Posted by Spurious Nurse at 3/21/2005 10:18:00 AM


  1. Anonymous mrtl posted at 10:27 AM  
    And you say you're not artistic?
  2. Blogger echrai posted at 12:55 PM  
    If the world was run by sweet little old homemakers (not that I know this is what Mama Spurious is, just a thought stemming from the connection between delightful cook and drug dealer) the world would be one united Mafia. Most little old ladies devote their lives to gossip, bribery, persuasion, and favors owed. If you controlled the little old ladies, you'd control THE WORLD! Of course, there'd be no help for it when knitting club or bingo met, and all of television would be devoted to the Love Boat and Perry Mason and Murder She Wrote reruns, but...
  3. Blogger laurenbove posted at 4:26 PM  
    Ha! Gay Sheep (not that there's anything wrong with that!) that's wonderful. I support their right to get married even! (the football guy and the sheep that is, although if two sheep want to get together and they have the same hoo hoo's or haa haa's who the hell am I to say...)

    Sorry for rambling and YES you are mui talented and artistic oh spurious one! I'm a big fan!
  4. Blogger Susie posted at 7:16 PM  
    As of right now, I'm giving up heroin, and taking up masa. The differences evident in those high-tech brain scans convinced me. I want my brain to look like the masa one. Thank you.
  5. Blogger lawbrat posted at 8:14 PM  
    I want the mustard jars filled with salsa! I'll give you heroin...but I dont have any. I'll give you my first born. But only until the salsa is gone, because with him home, with salsa, I'd have way too much competition and I'd have to eat it all while he was alseep, before he even knew it was in the house.

  6. Blogger Spurious Plum posted at 9:32 PM  
    Mtrl and Laurenabove - Is stealing pictures and posting them for silly reasons is artistic? Cause if it is, hold onto your free ear Van Gogh, cause I'm a-comin' for it....ick.

    Echrai - I love Mama Spurious, but she's definitely not the traditional sweet homemaker. But I can go for the Mafia part...

    Susie- Can I be your dealer? I got the good shit.

    Lawbrat - Free kids for salsa!! Hooray!!! Screw all that labor crap!!!I'll have to ask Mateo though. He loves our salsa like you love your son.
  7. Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes posted at 8:39 AM  
    The one thing that heroin and masa have in common?
    If you wanna hang onto what you got, you'd better smuggle it in your ass.
  8. Blogger laurenbove posted at 6:10 PM  
    Plum Woman: The entire blog is very creative. Art and words. I love it. I love the background, the color, the individual you compare heroine to mesa and the gay sheep? What's not to love. I want to be as cool. I've got to alter my rubberstamp blogger template. I feel so lame.
  9. Blogger marybishop posted at 9:41 PM  
    I iterate what laurenbove said except I don't feel lame. The leg is doing great...joke...but I would like the plum to decorate my house - I too adore the colors and style! Brava!
  10. Blogger Susie posted at 10:15 PM  
    Plum, you can be my dealer. But can you answer this question: why does Bucky always have to be trying to smuggle something in her ass? It just ain't right...maybe there should be an intervention or some such...
  11. Blogger Snickrsnack Katie posted at 9:21 AM  
    Yum, masa. I didn't know until a few years ago what masa was. I had heard of the word mesa, and I know that means table, so when my sister was talking about using masa to make tortillas, I was slightly appalled. You use tables to concoct Mexican fare? And the first time I ever had a tamale, I didn't know you are supposed to take off the corn husk and I bit right into the husk and thought "What the hell is so great about these nasty things?" Now I know better, and I am addicted.
  12. Blogger Nessa posted at 2:19 PM  
    Love it!! you've got enough masa there to last you through the next natural disaster - love your blog!

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