Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Just Give My Ass A Minute To Catch Up To the Rest Of Me

After much thought, I've decided that one night of bellydancing a week isn't going to diminish my epic ass. In that spirit, I followed the example of my best friend Elsa (industrious soul), and went for a jog last night.

Let's be clear here. I am not, nor have I ever been, an avid runner. I get really red. You other honky ladies know what I'm talking about. Redness that slithers up your neck during any physical activity, making you look like a huffing, pink manatee. Most attractive.

I jogged (or attempted to jog) FOUR MILES yesterday, and the only thing that kept me moving was sheer, unmitigated shame. Not wanting anyone to witness my redness, I had to keep moving because somehow, people were suddenly everywhere. Someone handed out flyers or something, because the entire city of Pittsburgh had come out to enjoy Plum's Puffy Pink Manatee Circus.

I had headphones on as well, so God only knows what kind of respiratory burlesque show I put on for my public. My gasping must've sounded really sexy though, since people were doing the I'm-not-really-staring-at-you-cause-Mama-taught-me-not-to-look-circus-freaks-in-the-eye-but-I'm-still-kinda-staring-at-you-cause-you're-panting-like-a-great-dane look. Boy, I'm cool.

After all that fun, my ass is killing me today. Which sucks,

because as I mentioned above, it's epic.
Random Fruit Fact: The Buffaloberry

Dude, it was as close as I could get to a manatee. Cut me some slack.

"shrub is evergreen. Inconspicuous March-June yellow flowers give way to 3/8 inch gray edible, juicy fruits important to wildlife"

Maybe we can grow buffaloberry flowers in Pittsburgh. Cause Spring hasn't done a damn thing here. Learn more about the buffaloberry, here.

Posted by Spurious Nurse at 3/23/2005 07:39:00 PM


  1. Anonymous Anonymous posted at 8:15 AM  
    Ass killing you, GOOD THING! Its getting smaller! You go girl!
  2. Blogger laurenbove posted at 9:10 AM  
    Hey Plum: Because I think you are so, way way, cool I've tagged you. You must come to my blog and copy, then replace with your answers on your blog. (But, if you're too busy, I wont be upset if you don't wish to partake.)

    Cheers and that picture looks nothing like you. Did you read my ass post? I have a similar ass awareness and I posted an entry on it. I will try to work it off a bit more today.
  3. Anonymous Anonymous posted at 10:38 AM  
    Hey Laurenbove! I tagged her FIRST! First I tell ya! Spurious can multi-task and answer 2 tags. Spurious, how does it feel to be tagged twice? Tagged by 2 women...hmmmm. LOL

  4. Blogger Spurious Plum posted at 10:45 AM  
    Laurenabove and Lawbrizzy - you guys are the fightin'! You're both first. I'm not sure how, but you are.

    What with Mateo being a librarian and all, I wanna really think hard about my bookiness. Rest asssured that a tag-riffic post is in the works. Fear not, it's a comin'!
  5. Blogger echrai posted at 11:31 AM  
    Yay for loving literacy and literary loving!! And I'm so totally the same way when jogging. It might be good for me, but I won't do it anymore. I'm too embarrassed when all the blood goes to my face and I huff and I puff and I look like a little pig doing its impression of the big bad wolf! By the way, I keep meaning to ask, where in Pittsburgh? My brother, wife, and cuteness reside there as well.
  6. Blogger Snickrsnack Katie posted at 12:35 PM  
    I totally empathize with you girl. From one cracker to another, us whities can't go more than one city block with turning as red as a clown's nose. And then the sweating. Good lord, the sweating! This is why I haven't done any sort of physical exercise in the past four years.
  7. Blogger LadyBug posted at 12:56 PM  
    Love, love, LOVE the manatee pic. That's hilarious.

    And jogging FOUR MILES?? You go, Girl!

    Also, shin splints, much?
  8. Blogger marybishop posted at 2:45 PM  
    No one has mentioned the boobs. Nothing like a set of bouncing boobs that no sports bra can constrain.

    Mall walking with numerous stops at nice stores is a better form of exercise.

    Best of all the fluorescent lights in the dressing rooms will keep anyone from eating for at least a week. I hate those lights!
  9. Blogger Colleen posted at 3:20 PM  
    4 miles? i would be ass-down in a gutter. or down, with my ass up. or... well, anyway, i can't do that. i am impressed!!
  10. Blogger Caroline posted at 4:19 PM  
    Hey, I'm putting a link to you on my blog, because whoever can come up with "Your photo makes you look like Interpol and Dr. Who's cross generational love child. And that's hot." Is awesome.

    Also, I do the manatee thing too.
  11. Blogger laurenbove posted at 5:48 PM  
    Lawbrat: You sound pretty foxy and I know you're really smart...who better to tag team with, I say. (wink wink)
  12. Anonymous kalki posted at 9:23 PM  
    Tag - you're it! See my blog for the questions. (Please don't hate me.)
  13. Blogger Susie posted at 10:57 PM  
    oh, that was good. I doubt that your ass is "epic," but your wit certainly is.
  14. Blogger Spurious Plum posted at 11:08 PM  
    OK, let's see if I can do this.

    Echrai - I live in Squirrel Hill.Where do bro wife and cutie live?

    KBBAW - I've seen your nose, and you ain't no clown.

    Ladybug - Shin splints, YES!

    Marybishop - 2 sportsbras = staying power, and mall lights do SUCK!

    Colleen - Does ass-down in my house count? It's dirty, so it contains gutter qualities....

    Caroline - Thank you for the link!!

    Laurenbove - Lawbrat is the shizzy, and so are you!

    Kalki - How can I hate someone with a cat so cute? Thanks for the tag!

    Susie - Oh, boy. This is a booty challenge isn't it....

  15. Blogger echrai posted at 12:39 AM  
    I think they're technically in Mount Lebanon although they did live in Squirrel Hill for a few years. And my mother grew up there. I loooove going out to visit. Mainly cause we go to the zoo and the art museums and some way fun bars. :) Well, not now that my S-I-L's expecting again. I fear maybe those bar days are coming to a rapid end. So sad.

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