Ah, L' Amour - PSA
People often approach me with relationship questions.
20 people just freaked, thinking their secrets are about to be disclosed on the internet, but you know I'd never do that. Remember listening to your Dad's Chicago tapes and wondering how some old fuckers could sing about your feelings? After a while, you realized that this shit just happens to a lot of people. Unfortunately.
I make a piss-poor dating oracle (though burnt offerings are accepted if they smell nice, like bacon), since I sucked at dating when I was single and happily abandoned the practice as soon as possible. But you all deserve to be happy. So here's a basic blanket statement:
If someone is hitting you, yelling at you, raping you, making you hurt yourself or feel bad, supplying you with nasty drugs, or doing any of the preceding to your children, GO. No one should have to put up with that crap.
This doesn't cover everyone's problems, and I'm sorry. Other than that, I'll listen and not pass judgement if you need to talk it out, but you'll need to make the final decision. The saddest thing in the world for me is watching one of my friends get hurt. I'm sorry things are hard, but please remember that you DO have the right to be happy!
Alright. Enough cheese. Time for fruit!
--------------------------------------
RANDOM FRUIT FACT: The Dewberry
"The berry itself looks very like a blackberry, but you rarely find them with as many drupelets (the individual berries) as you get on blackberries. The main difference in the berry is that it's somewhat powdery in appearance, having the same mustiness as you get on a grape or a plum."
Hey buddy, who you calling musty? Learn more about this dudes dewberries, here.
Posted by Spurious Nurse at 4/06/2005 02:32:00 PM
7 Comments
Wow. Very well said Plum. I hope anyone reading this, who is in a situation like any of these gets out. It can be done. It took me a long time, but I finally left my ex-husband for some of those reasons. He never physically hurt the kids. Its hard, difficult, but after its done, and you have your 'right' mind back, its one of the happiest moments you can have.
lawbrat
you know - I never knew that other people in the world knew about dewberries - it's like a cult phenomenon here in Texas - dewberry pie, dewberry cobbler - they grow wild on all our farms - you can drive out to the country & stroll along an old road & get enough dewberries to last you all year! Thanks for bringing the dewberry out for others to see! Oh, and they taste better than the blackberry!!!!
I was in a marriage where I wasn't allowed to make any decisions, wasn't allowed to keep my own paycheck, and I wasn't even allowed to drive my own car, that had A/C, in the Texas heat with a newborn...because I was scared of him.
I kept convincing myself that I had to stay with him "for the baby", no matter the cost. People at my church, that knew he was beating me, raping me, getting high and drinking, stealing from my family, etc., told me that the Lord looked down upon divorce and that I had to stay there "for the baby". I couldn't even think for myself.
It wasn't until I lost a baby far along into a pregnancy that I realized that my son was being raised to grow up to have the same respect for women that his father did...And he was in danger too. I had to get out before he killed me or Seth.
If you think "that's" all your worth, then you need help. No one deserves that kind of treatment. You should never be scared of your husband or mate, EVER. Even if his words scare you, that's an abusive relationship.
I have so many things to say here, but it's not the place to write it. I hope your friend listens to you and realizes it's not worth it. It's not easy though. Even after seeing what I went through, my sister is now in the same situation, and no one can convince her to leave his ass.
Hopefully they'll hear us!
Good work, as always, you most excellent fruit.
And may I comment on Holy Schmidt's wise and moving comment? The Lord looks WAAAAY down on assholes who tell mamas to keep themselves and their babies in harm's way. That is NOT in the book. Talkin' 'bout THE BOOK. Not in there.
I used to be in another career, but volunteering as a helpline counselor with a battered women's shelter is what prompted me to want to become a therapist. I can't tell you how many people on the phone told me that their churches or pastors or religious nut relatives told them the same thing that H.S. was told. Maybe it was getting so pissed off at that sort of idiocy and misinformation about the faith that I cherish, that prompted me to change careers.
Anyhow, domestic violence and I have crossed path at a number of points in my life, personally and professionally, so I say good for you, speaking out, helping your friends, and then I cook you this here BACON! Sniff! All for you.
One of the sad things is in the beginning of a relationship, some women feel they have to give them selves over to the guy and think his jealousy is because he loves her so much.
Later on she sees, jealousy is the first sign of future abuse and control.
This is where the paw paw comes in...keep one handy just in case.
I really wanna post, but Blogger's being sooooooo mean! Is this happening to anyone else?
Hooray! Blogger's behaving! Now quick, before it gets crabby again:
Silly Nessa - Dewberries are gooooooood. I had jam once and it rocked my world. If you see any jam around, let me know.
HS and Lawbrizzy - I'm so sorry you were both treated this way. And I'm so glad you've escaped the bad and have moved on to much better things. Look how far you both have come! You both rock.
Susie - Right as usual. I've never understood why more people in the church don't advocate JUST BEING NICE. What ever happened to being NICE!
Marybishop - Good thinking! We shouldstart the Pawpaw Shelter. Any baddies who try to enter will be beaned with a grip of pawpaw's. Thake that nasty folks!
Post a Comment
« Home