Thursday, April 07, 2005

Slim Jim is apparently branching out into the lucrative processed meat market. (Amanda:"Hooray!") On a recent trip to 7-Eleven, I saw a line of 'Pickled Sausage' products capped with the SlimJim logo. Several flavors were available, but two especially caught my attention-

The Big Mama Sausage
The packaging for this sausage had a cartoon inset of some 1950's blonde hooch, decked out in a boring blue uniform and a triangular hat. Not very exciting.

The Tijuana Mama Sausage
This sausage had a stereotypical, 1950's 'Mexican', alabaster maiden with black tresses. Wearing a peasant blouse and a truly gigantic sombrero, she tilts her head with a certain cocky flair that says "exotic yet inviting!" The package also claims that the TJ Mama is "300% hotter!" Hotter than what? The SlimJim folks don't say, but I assume they're comparing the TJ Mama to the ordinary Big Mama.

Here's what I wonder. Which scientific process allows the SlimJim people to determine a heat percentage? You've got to figure they're liberally rounding up, since a heat increase of exactly 300% seems pretty unlikely. I'm pretty sure there's some connection to the 300% increase and local branding assumptions.Follow me here...
In the Northeast, Tijuana=Mexican & Mexican=Hot. In this case, 300% hotter. So the mathematical formula might look something like this:
Mexicans(M)+Sausage(S)=Increase in American Sausage Heat Level of 300%(3A)
or
M+S=3A

I was an Literature major though, so this equation might be all honked up.

Posted by Spurious Nurse at 4/07/2005 05:16:00 PM

6 Comments

  1. Blogger BKing posted at 11:01 AM  
    There are actually a couple different scales used to measure the 'hotness' of things, usually peppers. I'm not sure which one is the most common, although here's one of 'em It measures the concentration of a chemical compound that produces the heat sensation in one's mouth.
  2. Blogger Susie posted at 9:06 PM  
    I'm not good at math or science. I just wonder why the sausages are called "Mamas." If I had to assign a gender to a sausage, I believe I'd choose male. Just me?
  3. Blogger Caroline posted at 1:07 AM  
    I think they're trying to avoid male sausage jokes. Aka stupid but funny penis humor.
  4. Anonymous mrtl posted at 2:50 PM  
    I haven't been able to get in to post a comment, so this is late. I'm not going with the penis humor, but I did want to commend you on the use of "honk" for the f-bomb. I love it! I've been looking for a replacer word and will try this one on for size.
  5. Blogger Kitsune posted at 2:07 AM  
    How ironic in a post about beef, I must ask, "Where's the fruit!?"
  6. Blogger Spurious Plum posted at 9:48 AM  
    BKing - Leave it to you to be logical.

    Susie - I'm pretty sure that homophobic males make up the majority of the sausage eating public (could be wrong...), and wouldn't respond well to advertising containing an obviously male sausage. But ads aside, I totally agree, sausages are male.

    Caroline - Embrace the penis humor!

    Mrtl - We stole 'honk' from Kevin and Bean, DJ's an LA radio station. It works really well. Enjoy it!

    Kitsune - Mateo doesn't 'do' fruit. It's coming! Hold yer horses!

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