Sunday, July 30, 2006

One Down...

Four to go.

Posted by Spurious Nurse at 7/30/2006 02:12:00 AM 4 comments

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Elevator Etiquette

How long is the appropriate time to hold open an elevator? This seems like an odd reason to pick up the blogging baton again, but really. How far away from an elevator does someone have to be before it's socially acceptable to pretend you didn't see their frantic waving and let the doors swish shut? If one doesn't time it right and other people are on board, one risks being the social pariah of the elevator (i.e. the selfish girl who won't hold open the door). As for the person left behind (they don't say anything about elevators in those books do they) an ill-timed lack of elevator courtesy will garner you a hasty, nasty-ass look as the doors close. Not exactly the last thing you want to see before ascending several stories in a 6x9 deathtrap. Have I mentioned that I don't like elevators?

Before the 'your're a bitch' cry goes up let it be said - I'm not an animal. I'll hold an elevator door for a scampering person like anyone else. But if I've held the door open for 14 people and you're 150 feet away and YOU think we've made eye contact through the dank oblivion that is my local Barnes and Noble parking lot, and the elevator is doing that openy-shutty thing on my wrist that it does right before its alarm screeches and whisks one of my precious, elevator-procuring appendages away forever, why must I incur your wrath for not risking my sweet, sweet limbs? What's with the stinky look, ho-bag?

And more importantly, when the elevator doors open, should the people outside wait for you to exit the elevator before boarding? Or should they try to climb on with you before you are allowed to bail...a process that involves rude people giving you evil looks for being 'in the way' because you've failed to magically exit the elevator by osmosis as they pile on through the one door this blasted piece of machinery has.

What's going on here? All the elevator freaks in the house say, "ho".
Random Fruit Fact: The Nectarine

"Ripen nectarines at home for 2 to 3 days at room temperature until they are slightly soft along the seam. Ripe fruit will have a sweet nectarine smell that is stronger when the fruit is at room temperature. "

Some of the people in the elevator smell stronger at room temperature too. Learn more about the nectar filled nectarine, here, or some things to do with nectarines from a freaky cook named Sam, here.

Posted by Spurious Nurse at 7/18/2006 09:27:00 PM 7 comments